10 ways i am "unyogic" { and don't give a #%&* }

photo credit: cottontimer.com

I was post-yoga chillin' with my friend Angela the other day and we were laughing about the term "unyogic." I often critically categorize myself this way in judgment of my own actions. My friend Tami penned a related post recently, noting that someone had told her she was unyogic. Understandably so, it pissed her off. { And then, fortuitously, after writing this post, someone out in yogaland railed at one of my tongue-in-cheek posts and questioned my yogicness. Pah! } So I got to thinking...which is always dangerous, as you well know.

What I came to was this: the next time I catch myself talking shit to myself about being unyogic, I'm going to shut the f*ck up. I will embrace my yogicness AND my so-called unyogicness. Because it's ALL yoga. Really it is.

What that means is this: You and I, we're both where we are meant to be. If our hearts, minds, and energy are invested in our practice, we are on the path; albeit sometimes rocky and full of slips and slides, but we are here. Every step forward is progress. Every step backward { or halted } is a moment to learn and reflect. More practice. More progress. If we stop struggling, pretending to be what we're not, and just accept...we're in the flow of life.

10 Ways I am Unyogic { and don't give a #%&* }:

1. I cuss. You know this. I know this. I love cussing. Growing up, I was one of those good kids. Always studious, always did the right thing, never uttered one crass word. Then one day all hell broke loose. This cussing stuff is amazing. Cathartic. You can get really creative with it. And, by golly, swearing like a m*therf#cker is so g$d d@mn much fun.
2. I have a bad temper. I've been known to jump out of the car, ready to throw down when harassed by other drivers or having had parking spots stolen from me. I live in LA, though, so that has to make me eligible for some sort of Get-Out-of-Temper-Free Card.
3. I'm the biggest neat freak in the world. I clean when happy, mad, frustrated, sad...oh, for any old reason. I try to Go With the Flow and Be Present, but then I see that speck of dust or the toothbrush in the wrong place, and it's all shot to swiffer. There's cleaning to be done!
4. I don't love everyone. Shocker, right? There are lots, and I mean TONS, of assholes in this world. Let's not encourage them, mmmmkay?!
5. I have an evil sense of humor. The boyfriend is scarred for life after the time I scraggled up my hair, put it all in my face, dressed in black, and climbed in the opposite side of the shower while he had soap in his eyes and couldn't see. Did I mention that The Ring really freaks him out? When I look back, I realize how lucky I am not to have been punched in the face due to a purely adrenaline-based reaction. But that hasn't stopped my antics. :)
6. I have a sort of red tantric love for cars. You know, borderline autophilia. For Aston Martins { DB9 } and Lamborghinis { Murcielago }, specifically.
7. I'm smart (and humble!) and sometimes I need to read or watch stupid things to give my million-mile-per-hour brain a break. And I know I should be reading something intelligent and jnanic instead. My compromise is Calvin & Hobbes — witty, entertaining, and requires nothing of me.
8. I'm a Tigress, fiercely protective. People who mess with my loved ones really push my buttons. And I want to hurt them, then bat their helpless bodies around.
9. I am obsessed with fashion and clothing. I'm a Carrie. The quintessential clotheshorse.
10. My sarcasm knows no bounds. And has yet to be self-checked. :)

What about you, my unyogic friends? What do you do that colors outside the lines of yogicness?

I say embrace it. Raise your fist and say, "Suck it!" Because in all our "unyogicness," we are yogic.

Comments

[Emmanuelle]

Oooooh love this, and talk about perfect timing, I wanted to write a confession post! :-D

[linda]

love it!

[Tami]

Thanks for the shout out!

Cussing like a sailor? Check
Temper like an amped up cobra? Check.
I am not a fan of most people... If they would only do things my way...
I am a HUGE fan of MY way.
Screw unyogic - I am just keeping it real.

[Googlover/keishua]

LMAO. Are we twins? I feel the same way. A ?Friend? said I could be cruel because I say some real crazy/snarky things. I have a very dry/inappropriate sense of humor. Just because your on a "path" does not mean you get a halo, some levitating ability and become an administrator of sunshine. Although, I do administer some sunshine-if I'm annoyed, you'll know.

[Maria]

Haha very liberating!

[YogaforCynics]

Just a few days ago, while on the way to yoga class, yoga mat strapped to my back, Iyelled "it's a bike lane, asshole!" followed by a completely gratuitous "you stupid piece of shit!" at a driver. Not sure, but some people could think that might've been just a bit un-yogic.....

[Victoria Klein]

Such a great post! In honor of all of our imperfect selves. :) I can openly confess to a few of the same traits as you have, specifically #s 1, 7, & 10

[Cora Wen]

Love you Lo!!

[ashley]

Your not the only one! My nickname since i was a child was Demon.

[Lindsay]

Love it! We are all perfectly imperfect, right? Your honesty is very "yogic" ...ah, but why label anything. It only limits us.

[April]

I think we all do that, but I have to first point out - that I don't recall anywhere in the Yoga Sutras or Bhagavad Gita - not in one place have I read "don't say words that have arbitrarily been chosen to be bad". Therefore, I don't think cussing counts.

Otherwise... yeah. Who the fuck is anybody to decide what is and isn't "yogic"? I'm judgey and that is my big fat unyogic vice.

[nancy]

my treat is to get a huge iced coffee right after a very hot prana raising class. supposedly messes with said raised prana big time, but this bad ass yogini don't care. love you lady.. xo

[Carrisa Clifton]

Lo, you are a riot!! I love it! The whole Yogier Than Thou attitude drives me crazy!!! I love that you keep it real <3 Another entertaining and wonderful post!! Oh, and yes, I am guilty of all of thee above. :)

[babs]

Ya on the cussing. And the temper. And thinking that most people are assholes.

[Lo]

{ I am absolutely BURSTING with love for all you beautiful mo fo's. :P Thank you for your amazing spirit, friendship, and support! Love to make you laugh (and think!)!! xoxo }

[bonnie]

you freaking rock! this hits close to home as a closet clothes horse myself... i've totally been known to request designer yoga mats for my birthday and i love me a good vinyasa to rock music.

[Dacia Cress]

I LOVE you so much for posting this!! I needed that laugh.

Just this week I was described "not being bubbly enough" after permanently taking over a class from another instructor. I've been teaching yoga for 4 years and should not have let this comment get to me, should have known better! BUT it caught me off guard and at moment of low confidence.
But lady, after reading this today, I am PROUD to be me just as I am! I'm nice, I joke in class, but I refuse to turn on the fakeness of sugary sweet smiles and shallow compliments.
Yin with the yang, baby!

[Maria @downwarddog]

Big time cusser...so I'm with you on that one.

How about drinking? I'm sure that is pretty unyogic - but I am not giving up my enthusiasm for wine!

[M.A.]

Alongside this debate, I'm feeling irritated over the discussion of "authentic" yoga vs. "watered down" yoga. Um, what? Every time I read something by someone advocating their brand of "real" yoga, I feel like they're patting me on the head, condescendingly murmuring, "It's okay, little baby yogi, someday you'll realize how misguided you are, and you'll see how right I am. I'll now use a bunch of big words and yoga terms to make you respect my authority on the matter, and each time you offer your perspective, I'll tell you how confused you are by your wrongheaded yoga." Pisses me off.

[Nikki @liveloveyoga]

I call it being REAL! Who ever painted the picture that yogis are suppose to be perfect should be cussed out!

[Michelle]

I love Calvin & Hobbes too!

I'm not obsessed with fashion so much, but I do love my clothes too! I probably think about them a bit too much...like, so much that before I leave for yoga class I wonder if my outfit looks okay and worry that I might have worn the same top to class a week ago. HAHA. Yah...suppose I'm not so yogic in that regard either!

[Jamie]

love it! you're the best. do we ever get to see a photo of you? : )

[Jon]

Sounds like you're yogic to me, just right.

[Jennifer]

My favorite post-yoga meal is Whataburger. I am always ashamed, but it hasn't stopped me once. My yogic-side tries to be kind to myself :)

[Rick]

Loved the post and I've been a Calvin & Hobbes fan since like forever. (I'm sure they're yoggis.)

I have several of those "un-yogic" traits too. I realize I can't change the assholes of the world so I use the gift of sarcasm to point them out though they usually don't get the hint.

No particular obsession with cars or clothing. They have practical uses but other than that I can take them or leave them.

As for cussing and having a temper, I guess I've mellowed over the years.