photo credit: time.com
I've got my pleather yoga strap in hand and you better believe I'm going there. While the more apropos term is "BDSM," I feel like S&M still holds a certain delicious dirtiness. It's best you agree, considering I'm the one holding the whip. { too much too soon? heh. didn't think so. you love it, dirty bird! }
Let's get two things out of the way before we begin: 1) Yoga can be like S&M if you are a type-a pusher or tango with these tendencies, so don't get all feisty with me if you have a sweet, honest practice that reads more Disney than The Brothers Grimm. 2) Our safe word is "ahimsa."
- Bondage - Yoga straps, bound baddha konasana, and strangling sports bras (why are they ALL like this?!). And teachers always seem suspiciously giddy to "help" you bind yourself up or get you a strap. Hmmm...
- Sadism - We've all had a teacher like this. You know who you are and you are way too jolly when you gleefully exclaim, "We're doing to do a LOT of core work today!" Your cheery little face masks a devious, blackened, sadistic heart.
- (Erotic) Asphyxiation - Let's come clean. We do this to ourselves. When things get particularly gritty in class or the nemesis pose rears its challenging head, we hold our breath. And hold. And forget we're holding. And hold some more.
- Masochism - Whether it's mental (self-talk such as, "No Child's Pose for you, pansy-ass sassafrass!") or physical (toes dig into your mat, teeth gritted, sweat beads upon your brow, pose held for dear life), we do it again and again. Because we are pushers and punishers. We see no edge, no borders, no boundaries.
- Deviants - The more vanilla and mainstream yoga goes, the more underground the yogasphere goes. We keep our words and our practice real. We are deviant because we deviate. By choice. We follow our own rules. I don't know about you, but that gets me hot and bothered.
To my fellow pushers, I send you blissful ease and a dose of straightforward sensualism. To my fellow yogic deviants, crack the whip!
With tough love from atop my custom-studded Manduka Black,
first thing to make me smile this morning ;-)
Posted by: adan | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 04:24 AM
You a just a little minx, Lo. I giggled all the way through this one!
Posted by: LaurBridge | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 07:19 AM
SO TRUE! I think this is my favorite article EVER!!!
Posted by: scary miss mary | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 07:46 AM
In one of my classes we used straps for inversions and the students loved calling it bondage yoga. lol
Posted by: April | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 07:55 AM
i love the WTF yoga tag... but more importantly.. after my morning bondage, my "binds" and all... i read this... love love love it... makes holding hands in savasana even better!
Posted by: lizzie-loo | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 09:28 AM
Awesome!
Posted by: Crystal @YogiCrystal | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 09:32 AM
Awesome freaking post - as always :) You are a breath of fresh (naughty) air in the world of yoga.
Posted by: Victoria Klein | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 10:26 AM
I actually had one of those teachers who practiced #2. I used muscles I didn't even know I had in his class.
Posted by: keishua | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 11:14 AM
Taking cold shower now.......
Posted by: MeredithLeBlanc | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 01:14 PM
ok, so where can i get this studded manduka black??? ;)
Posted by: thehipyogini | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 01:18 PM
I know an Iyengar teacher with his own torture studio :-) It is fab!
Posted by: Lara | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 07:05 AM
Hmmm...a good whipping now and then might be just what my practice needs...
Posted by: YogaforCynics | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 08:53 PM
hilarious! you are a naughty little genius!
Posted by: roseanne | Saturday, September 03, 2011 at 02:43 PM
Heehee! "Our safe word is 'ahimsa.'" ;)
There's always a chance someone will find shoulderstand to be a bit on the Erotic Asphyxiation side of things...
And hey, I guess those acro yogis who love playing in the ropes are pretty much just underground S&M-er's, right?
Posted by: Svasti | Sunday, September 04, 2011 at 06:25 PM
I wonder what a student would think if I told them "No Child's Pose for you, pansy-ass sassafrass!"
Posted by: Nikki @liveloveyoga | Monday, September 05, 2011 at 11:12 PM
Love it! no wonder I love yoga!
Posted by: yoginibunny | Tuesday, September 06, 2011 at 01:59 PM
With yoga, I'm a sensualist, not a pusher (gotten from Lo's own blog). You guys are all a bunch of freaky, happy masochists ... lol
However, when it comes to pilates practice, I may as well be in S&M-land. I even know how to get injured (by pilates) and then do a work-around around it.
In pilates, pain really is "allowed" ...
Posted by: Yogini5 | Monday, September 12, 2011 at 10:57 AM
Have to admit, didn't read it all yet, but it's gotta be a good read..... ;) OK, I read the first part and it's RIGHT on the money with what I've thought all along about the old S&M with yoga juxtaposition.. I've gotta say you're a yogini after me own anahata.
Posted by: Yogamagick | Wednesday, December 14, 2011 at 11:43 PM
3.(Erotic) Asphyxiation - 1min breath cycles/long deep breathing. Hold your breath out!Alternate nostril breathing while one side is totally clogged.
4.Masochism- Waking up at 4am to
do yoga/meditation=pure masochism.
5.Deviants-Mulabandh(root lock)! Squeeze your "sex organs".
Posted by: Satya | Friday, July 06, 2012 at 07:32 PM