YTT ain't for suckaz. It's for Hard. Ass. Bitches. We dun did our time.
When it's all over and you see the light for the very first time in decades years months um, hours, your mind flies like a bird set free. But instead of cruising around life and pooping on people, you just want to FLY.
Yoga Teacher Training is a life-altering, amazing experience. Legit. That said, here's the shit no one else talks about.
1. First Day Introductions. There's always ONE person who won't let go of the damned microphone/spirit stick:
3. After a full day of Standing Poses (i.e., a shit-ton of Viras/Warriors):
4. One of the criers cries. AGAIN.
5. Your sequence/quiz/essay gets a teacher shout-out in front of the class:
6. Planes of Movement are taught. After 200 hours, I still don't know the goddamn difference between Coronal, Sagittal, and f*cking Transverse.
7. Time to "look at bodies" (in poses). Everyone tries to act cool, but their faces look stricken. And you know they feel precisely like this:
8. When the hoes who try to copy your homework ask you for Sanskrit translations. Because you're a genius.
9. Two-thirds of the way through training. Information + sensory overload. Worn body. On your mat, tucked into the safe corner, props serving as a barricade:
10. GRADUATION!
So spiritual,
check out Namastilo — my new yoga style/lifestyle/diy/fashion site — and the bangin' series:
Oooooh that does ring a bell :D
Posted by: Emmanuelle | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 05:33 AM
You are genius!
Posted by: Nadya Andreeva | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 06:11 AM
Ahahaha - this so perfectly describes YTT that I may or may not have snorted chai out of my nose!
Posted by: Supportiveyoga | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 06:35 AM
Brilliant! as always!
Posted by: Sheryl | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 08:02 AM
Ha! Love. Friend of mine just finished some yoga schooling. Must forward. :)
Posted by: Julie Longyear | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 09:28 AM
Ha! Thanks for the first laugh of the day...really awesome, and so true.
Posted by: BrianWsYoga | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 10:35 AM
I <3 you Lo. You were hit with the creative stick when you were born and you're showing NO signs of slowing down :)
Posted by: MyMiBoSo | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 11:07 AM
yes, I WAS a genius in my TT, thank you very much.... ;)
Posted by: linda-sama | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 12:09 PM
Were you and I in the same YTT class, because this all looks mighty familiar! Dun did our time is right!
Posted by: ilene | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 12:17 PM
LOVE it!
Posted by: babs | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 12:21 PM
Dear, Lo. Please give your brain to science.
But only after you and the rest of us are done with it, of course.
Posted by: David | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 12:25 PM
YES!!! Hahahah this is amazing Lo :)
#4 and #9 I remember well, oh boy, can't wait to upgrade.
Posted by: YogiCrystal | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 01:56 PM
If I can fly, then I'm DEFINITELY going to teacher training next year!
Posted by: Dyamond | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 02:06 PM
So yes, 7 & 8, me for sure. And just the other night I was visiting with one of my YTT BFFs about how much she cried during training - like every session!
YTT is a trip!
XOxoXO
Posted by: MeredithLeBlanc | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 07:51 PM
love love love!
Posted by: roseanne | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 09:01 PM
HUHLARious!!! I'm the cat in number 4...OMGoodness there's just way too much truth to this - especially if you do an intensive. xoxoR
Posted by: Seva Soule Yoga (@SevaSouleYoga) | Thursday, August 02, 2012 at 04:54 AM
@ Emma - the secrets are freed!
@ Nadya - thank you, my dear. a big compliment coming from you!
@ Supportive Yoga - i hope it tasted good the second time. sort of like a chai neti! :P xo
@ Sheryl - wow, thank you muchly! honored! :D :D :D
@ Julie - he or she will likely nod in agreement. ;) i think this is universal YTT fodder. or perhaps it could simply be my oddly-tinged perspective.
@ Brian - good to meet you! looking forward to chats on twitter.
@ MyMi - girl, you know i dig you. majorly, like a shovel digs dirt.
@ Linda - not shocked. ;) we need to take a TT together for the hell of it. we can geek out.
@ Ilene - were you the kitty in a box on the opposite corner? i thought i saw you! :D next time, we'll pool our resources.
@ Babs - i aim to please, hot mama.
@ David - i giggled with glee over this comment. thank you so much. beautiful + i feel lucky to receive this kind of awesome praise! on a related note, i was thinking of having my brain put in pretty colored water inside a huge ball canning jar. cool, no?
@ Crystal - that's the thing about us kooky yoginis and yogis. we get done with one TT and we want to do another...and another! i love learning.
@ Dyamond - it's totally possible. even Patanjali says so in his Sutras. :D
@ Mere - it is a complete trip, isn't it?! a ridonkulously good one, but kind of insane, too.
@ Roseanne - i have an animated gif addiction. help me! ;)
@ Soule Mama - me, too. i think i was the only one who never cried once in TT. they thought i was weird. i thought they were a bunch of sobby sobbertons. eh! :P and boy am i glad i didn't do an intensive. crazy talk! i need absorption time.
Posted by: Lo | Thursday, August 02, 2012 at 12:42 PM
LOVE this! I'm a third of the way through a 200-hour YTT and this is my life! Especially, number 6! Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: Mo | Thursday, August 02, 2012 at 03:00 PM
Oh brings back memories :) Although I often feel like #9 still happens on those days when I teach 3-4 classes a day. LOL
Posted by: Nikki @liveloveyoga | Saturday, September 01, 2012 at 11:26 AM