yoga humor, yogini style, yoga personality, yoga tips - Y is for Yogini

5 yoga poses to combat text neck

At the age of 14, I was slightly boy-entranced. My Grammie used to joke that I'd get whiplash if I wasn't more careful. Particularly luminous lads would often catch my eye (and crane my neck) as we were driving around. My head seemed to act of its own accord. Apparently it has hormones, too.

Nowadays, we the people don't even look at each other. Our eyes are only for our gadgets. Rubbernecking is a thing of the past. Today's great affliction. . . is TEXT NECK. But fear not, hangdog head-schlumpers, yoga is your cure-all.

five moody mudras { the 12 days of yoga }

On the 16th day of December, yoga gave to me

five moody mudras...

{ four heavy breathers }

{ three third eyes }

{ two turtle yogis }

{ and a yogini in the pose tree. }

I love mudras. The hands can be so elegant. And expressive. You'll see by the time you get to the 5th hand mudra below. :)

Gyan Mudra: { pictured above. yes, that hand is insured for millions. ah, hand models! }

• the mudra of knowledge
• sharpens memory
• enhances concentration
• to the point: braiiiiiins!

Abhaya Mudra:

• the mudra of fearlessness
• brings courage + strength
• reassurance, calm, protection
• to the point: talk to the hand!

Anjali Mudra:

• the mudra of offering
• opens the heart
• calms the mind
• eases stress
• to the point: namaste!

Dhyana Mudra:

• the mudra of meditation
• enhances concentration
• balance of thought
• tranquility
• to the point: the Buddha's mudra.

Eff Yew Mudra:

• the mudra of expression
• powerful, only to be used in special circumstances
• example: good to use when haters call you "unyogic"
• also: very handy while driving
• to the point: yes, i made this one up. no, i'm not making fun of hand mudras. i felt very passionately that this was an important one to include. i can't leave you in the wilderness of the world to fend for yourself, can i? nope. i got yo back.

You are now equipped with the hand mudras of choice. May the yogic force be with you. Enjoy their beauty and use them wisely.

{ 7 more days of yoga cookieness + kookiness on the way! I think these are my best cookies so far. :) }  

four heavy breathers { the 12 days of yoga }

On the 13th day of December, yoga gave to me

four heavy breathers...

{ three third eyes }

{ two turtle yogis }

{ and a yogini in the pose tree. }

Haaahhhhhh. Tssssss. Haaahhhhhhh. Tsssssss. HAAAHHHHHHH.

If you're laughing right now, you've been in class with the yogi/ni/s pictured above. Just a few thoughts on heavy yogic breathing:

1. Not to be an asshole, but the experts tell us when done properly, ujjayi breathing can be heard by the person practicing it, and sometimes the person next to them. Not everyone in the whole damn room.
2. There's at least one Darth Vader in every single class. Without fail.
3. That person always freaks me out. I feel like I need to find my lightsaber FAST! And then I panic that I've not kept up with my Jedi mind trick conditioning. Oh shit!
4. Just to put it out there, we're not impressed by the loudness of your breath surfing. Some are disturbed, a few are rolling their eyes, a handful are so in the zone they don't know you exist, and it's highly likely that the largest part of the group is worried you are going to stroke out.
5. Is this a prank call? Some sort of strange come-on? I feel confused when I hear you breathe like that. It makes me want to put on more clothes or take a shower and scrub reeeeally good.
6. You don't need to convince us that you are breathing. If you weren't, you'd really be in corpse pose. Now that's a long-ass Savasana.

Breathe easy, my friends. This is one of the secrets to long life. If Darth were to hear you work your ujjayi properly, I know just what he'd say: "The force is strong with this one."

{ 8 more days of yoga cookieness + kookiness to come! Aren't the Darths cute?! I let the bf eat two, but I can't seem to part with the others. :) } 

yoga balls { um, the other kind }

 photo credit: super-bouncy-balls.com

We have two guys (and nearly 30 girls) in Teacher Training. One mentioned in class how he really, really wanted to be able to do a forward split (Hanumanasana/Monkey Pose). He blushed as he said this and everyone giggled. It was suggested that he practice standing splits gradually and against a wall to work his way there.

Now, I don't possess the fun little extras he does, but I can imagine that even if he were flexible enough to get into Hanumanasana, it may still be difficult. This line of thinking further spiraled into thoughts about how lucky I am to not have to worry about that kind of extra ... baggage. Sure, there's a lot to potentially complain about when you're a girl, things that make life challenging, etc. But I also have a lot to appreciate and be thankful for, anatomically-speaking. Here's my thanksgiving list:

1. Any version of the splits is easy-peasy. I'm bendy and nothing gets in the way. 
2. I don't have to worry about my equipment falling out of my pants/shorts/etc. 
3. The only adjustments I may require are pose-related (not anatomy-related) 
4. If I were to see someone I thought was cute in class, there would be no uncontrollable clues (mwaahahaha, so stealth!) 
5. The only thing twisting in my practice is ME

All of this takes me back to an old memory. My sister and I were pillow-fighting when she accidentally hit my then-boyfriend in his yoga balls. He subsequently turned pinkish-purple and had to go outside to "get some air." We laughed like hyenas for days about it (hey! we were teenagers!) and the boyfriend was not amused. 

This is not to say I wouldn't laugh my asana off if something went masculinely awry in yoga class (blame my inappropriate sense of humor!), however, my heart really goes out to our fellow yogis. I have more respect for their extra challenges during practice.

Related (fun + funny + helpful) posts:

YogaDork - What's a Man to Wear to Yoga Class?
The Luxury Spot - The Banana Should Never Be in a Hammock
Yeah Dave - Man Berries
Spoiled Yogi - Yoga Men: What NOT to Wear
Elephantbeans - Shorts for a Ball-Free Yoga Classroom

shoulder girdle mantra { head + shoulders above the rest }

photo credit: red paper clip

Patanjali bless YogaWorks. My YTT curriculum and books are educationally solid. One of YW's little gems is their Shoulder Girdle Mantra:

sternum lifts
widen across the collarbone
shoulder heads back
shoulder blades widen away from each other 
and descend down the back

I find this extremely helpful from both the student and teacher perspective. We carry so much tension + stress in our shoulders. Often, the weight of the world is supported there. With this little mantra, you'll remember to open your heart and let the tension slip + slide right off.