yoga humor, yogini style, yoga personality, yoga tips - Y is for Yogini

10 yoga poses to strike for love { animal asanas to attract a mate }

photo credit: dailydumper.blogspot.com

Rawwwwrrrr. It is wild out there. Lions, lionesses. Tigers, tigresses. Bears, and bears. Bearesses? Bearginis? Love is a jungle. Are you the queen or king of yours?

It is not a coincidence that many yoga poses are named after animals. Our nature runs deep; we are all kin. A peek into the mating rituals of our animal friends and perhaps a little aping of their postures just might be the thing to draw you someone to hibernate with.

10 Yoga Poses to Strike for Love:

1. Downward Facing Dog { Adho Mukha Svanasana }

• Well, there's the obvious reason. But don't ask me to explain it. YOU know.
• Knowing if we're compatible or not might be much faster (and cheaper) if we opted for butt-sniffing, like dogs do.

2. Lion Pose { Simhasana }

• First, if your potential beloved still finds you attractive when you look insane (which this pose definitely accomplishes), you've got a winner. Look no further.
• Second, Simhasana is said to cure bad breath — THE deal breaker.
• Third, how many guys do you know who DON'T think panting is hot. Yeah, that's what I thought, ZERO.
• It is recommended that you roar at the end. No, really, read up on it. Claim your territory! Let the jungle know that you're gonna get yours. Dominate.

3. Rabbit Pose { Sasangasana }

• Maintains a flexible, youthful spine. This will help you keep up with, uh, the kind of activities rabbits are known for.
• Good for the immune system...just in case you have, well, a number of romantical rabbit friends.

4. Camel Pose { Ustrasana }

• Stretches the groins, opens the heart. Translation: good way to get your game face on, if you know what I mean.
• While embodying the pose fully is always appreciated, nobody likes a spitter. Hold the saliva, k?

5. Butterfly Pose { Baddha Konasana with flutter added / Titali Asana }

• Stimulates the sacral chakra. Translation: va va voom!
• Butterflies are pollinators. :)
• Butterflies taste with their feet. You can take that fun fact wherever you like.

6. Cat/Cow Pose { Marjaryasana / Bitilasana }

• Be honest with yourself, this pose just looks sexy. And it feels wonderfully indulgent.
• There's a reason we say "Meow!" in relation to titillating things. You've heard those late-night kitty cat hollers, mrrrrows, and yowls. Yup, kitty booty call.

7. Frog Pose { Bhekasana }

• The anatomical focus here is the uterus. Just sayin'.
• Naked leapfrog is pretty hard to say no to...if you like the Frog Prince who is asking.

8. Feathered Peacock Pose { Pincha Mayurasana }

• Peacocks know how to strut their stuff better than any other animal.
• My teacher calls this "Pinch-my-ass-ana." Yow! :)
• Helps you learn to lift your tail. Um, a skill which is certainly beneficial. Er, in life. You know?

9. Fish Pose { Matsyasana }

• Come, my love, let us swim upstream...and spawn.
• A beautiful heart-opener.

10. Cobra Pose { Bhujangasana }

• A slithery, supple, sensual pose. I don't know about you, but I feel powerful in Cobra.
• On the flipside, one must understand cobras in order to be a good snake charmer. Mwahahahahaa.
• Cobras have excellent night vision. Crucial for gliding over to your prey in the dark.

The keys to the animal love kingdom are yours. Choose wisely, go forth, and get in touch with your inner animalistic yogic self.

Meow! Rawr! Hiss! Moo! Woof!

{ photo credits: 1. howdididoit.com, 2. yogainmyschool.com, 3. fullissue.com, 4. interesting-animal-facts.blogspot.com, 5. colourlovers.com, 6. allwomenstalk.com, 7. howstuffworks.com, 8. animal.discovery.com, 9. amelangeetmoi.blogspot.com, 10. noraaoyagi.typepad.com. }

sexyasana { 10 romantical partner yoga poses }

Sexyasana don't need no intro. It just be sexy. As Marvin says, let's get it on...

10 Sexy Asanas:

1. footsie-asana { tee hee. that tickles! }

2. slip-n-slide-asana { please do not get all creative and try @ home with oils. you've been warned. }

3. lookin-at-your-bits-asana { what?! girls can lookie-loo, too. }

4. let-him-do-all-the-work-for-once-asana { lol. }

5. parsva-booty-asana

6. steal-a-kiss-asana

7. love-knot-asana

8. crow-peck-asana

9. touch-the-hot-booty-asana { i know this is an adjustment. work with me, people. }

10. spoon-asana { yes, this could have been a certain numerical asana, dirty minds! keep it clean. }

Do try this at home. Any day is a good day for sexyasana. Practice makes perfect.

top 5 honeys i'd love to savasana with { ohhhmmm }

When I was in middle school and high school, I kept supersecret mental lists of boys I had crushes on — one list for celebs, one list for "real" boys. Blame my perfectionist brain. I like order. And daydreaming. :)

It hit me recently that it's been too, too long since I've had a little girlish fun and taken stock of who rocks my socks off. Sha-boom-boom.

I could list five of the people whose brains turn me on, but it's February, and I'm thinking with my...heart. Okay, okay. You got me. Hearty-loins. :P

top 5 honeys i'd love to savasana with { YOW! }:

1. Jason Behr { i feel confident he'd really appreciate my Urdhva Upavishta Konasana. in a yogic way, of course. }
2. Leonardo DiCaprio { when he was in Romeo + Juliet, i literally lost my heart forever. }
3. Johnny Depp { today, tomorrow, and forever. }
4. Mark Strong { sooo good @ being the hot bad guy. }
5. Chace Crawford { the goody-nice-guy a girl likes to muss up. }

I am dying to hear YOUR Top 5s. Who would you like to ohhhhmmm with?! 

{ this is the month of love + i am determined to loosen you up, show you a good time, and encourage you to flirt with FUN. }

the yoga walk of shame / bliss.

 photo credit: monica-bellucci.us

My life has been idiotically incapacitating insanity as of late. And fo shame, fo shame, my practice has dwindled. Why does this have to be an inversely proportional relationship?! 

Soon, I'll be doing the yoga walk of shame. You slink in to class, feeling shameful that you've been missing for so long.

But then something magical happens. You practice, you walk out that door. And your slink has become sway. It morphs into the yoga walk of bliss.

YOU know what I'm talking about. You stumble out into the sun. Clothes and hair mussed. Dried sweat on your skin. Brain scrambled in the best way. Passers-by look at you quizzically and think, "What in hells happened to her? Are those last night's clothes? Woooo, walk of shaaaaame." But that's where they're wrong. It's yoga bliss.

Afterglow, fo sho. How the f*ck did you stay away so long?!

Your ass and your head are higher somehow. Your swagger is BACK. 

Sunday, I have a date with yoga and the girl I used to be. It's about to get sweaty and so very, very DIRTY. Rawwwrrrrrrr!!!!

8 things muggles { non-yoga people } don't understand about us yogis + yoginis

 photo credit: harrypotter.warnerbros.com

Ah, muggles. Blisslessly unaware of the fireworks, calm, and expansiveness yoga can bring. Our mission as huge-hearted yogi/nis: share our magically delicious yoga with all who are open to it! But, alas, there will always be muggles, the non-yoga peeps...specifically the ones who think we're a gaggle of kooky mat-huggers. And we are. So what?

8 Things Muggles { Non-Yoga People } Don't Understand About Us Yogis + Yoginis:

1. Why are you always packing that damned mat around? 

   Think of it as a purse/wallet. It's our currency for life. Think of it as a security blanket. It keeps us in touch with our realest, deepest selves. Think of it as a light saber. It helps us kick ass, on the mat and off.

2. But yoga is just stretching...

   Perhaps. If you mean stretching your mind, spirit, potential, awareness, ability to remain open, capacity of the heart, and expanding your container. Huh. Then, YES...it IS stretching.

3. Don't you have to be x, y, or z { skinny, young, blah, blah, blah } to do yoga?

   If you can move your body and breathe, you can boogie. You know. Practice. Now get down with your bad self.

4. But isn't yoga that weird tantric sh*t?

   Look. Not everything is about sex, fool. Sure, in class everyone is sweaty and hot and writhing and dripping and concentrating and opening up and ... um, what were we talking about? Oh yeah. Get yo mind outta the gutter. Yoga is a way of life, a science, a path. Let's not reduce it to that scene you saw in Sex & the City or the Sting rumors you've heard.

5. It's a cult!!!! I'm worried about you...

   Field trip time. Head on over to your local yoga studio. I'll pay you $1,000 if they're serving grape Kool-Aid and handing out black Nikes.

6. If you put your hands together like you're praying, how is that different from religion?

   We are acknowledging each other, our deepest selves, and the divinity that is everywhere. It's like MC Hammer said { well...without the church stuff }, "We need to know. Living high, living good, living long. Take a minute, bust a prayer, and you're good to go." The divine in me bows to the divinity around me. That's word. Not religion.

7. Good Gawd, do you have to talk about it all the time?!?!

   We can't help it. Blame the prana, our tongues want to dance in merriment and do what I call the yogic conversational drive-by. We're ready for any opportunity to bust a yogic cap and tell you how awesome it is.

8. Shouldn't you be driving a Prius, wearing Birkenstocks, and protesting somewhere?

   WTF do you think this is? Woodstock meets 2010? You're trying my yogic patience. Poof! You're now a frog. Nice Bhekasana { yeah, that's Frog Pose for you muggles }!

If you could wave your magic yoga wand, what would you want the world to understand about us yoga people?