yoga humor, yogini style, yoga personality, yoga tips - Y is for Yogini

which yoga superhero are you?

Perhaps the comic books, movies, and cartoons haven't covered it yet, but who's to say that these fierce heroes and heroines don't practice yoga?! I think they do. In secret. Like magicians, they never reveal their most powerful secrets.

Yoga Superheroes: 

BATMAN

• Practices mostly inversions
• Likes to wear all black to class, especially leggings
• Favorite Brand: I Am Beyond (because, well, he is.)
• Yama: Ahimsa. Batman lives by his own code of ethics, which includes an interesting take on Ahimsa — that is to say, he believes it's okay to beat the crap out of baddies, but he doesn't kill them.
• Favorite Pose: Sirsasana
• Dark, tortured, and mysterious, Batman's samadhi is found within the fight against crime.

ROGUE

• Fun, feisty, and no bs
• Favorite Poses: Digs sassy ones like Flip the Dog/Wild Thing and arm balances
• Practices partner yoga with Gambit
• Likes to wear cowgirl boots and splashy tie-dye yoga pants a la Shining Shakti
• A spitfire who adores Breath of Fire
• Dosha: Pitta to the core. Don't make her mad, y'all.

WONDER WOMAN

• Elegant, capable, and intelligent
• Favorite Yoga Style: Iyengar (layers and layers of depth, just like WW)
• Yama: Satya (Truthfulness), naturally. Even without her lasso yoga strap of truth, she is always honest.
• Her invisible airplane takes her to all her fave classes incognito. She can do Jivamukti in NY and Bhakti Yoga Shala in LA all in one day.
• Favorite Poses: She of the killer core (and super cute gold belt) loves Navasana/Boat
• Has a penchant for starry patterns and blingy headbands

SUPERMAN

• You can find him at all the flying workshops. He's so experienced, that he is usually teaching.
• Conquered Klesha: Avidya. Superman isn't blinded by false perception; his sight is clear. One might almost say it was akin to x-ray vision...
• Has a strong Pranayama practice, but Breath of Fire is challenging. This is because Superman's breath tends to run cold.
• Favorite Poses: Salabhasana/Locust and anything that can be done in a phone booth
• Enjoys blue leggings, "S" monogrammed yoga tees, and tying his Yogitoes Skidless around his neck — draped like, oh I don't know, a cape.

CATWOMAN

• Super flexible with feline grace, this lady is badasana
• Favorite Pose: Marjaryasana/Cat and Savasana (purrrr)
• Pose She Hates: Down Dog (meow!)
• Her mat is Manduka Black — holds up well against her loooong blood red claws
• Like Batman, Catwoman only rocks head to toe black. Wears a black turban/headwrap that looks incredibly similar to a cat mask. Huh.

Now then. Which one are you? :D

{ photo/art credits: flowtv.org, marveldirectory.com, bestofbothworldsaz.com, supermanhomepage.com, wikia.com }

yoga how you like! { doowutchyalike }

Ahem years ago { a lady never tells }, I was born unto this rich earth. TODAY IS ME BIRFFDAY! And I plan on rocking my fuchsia bejeweled plastic tiara { yup, i have one — wearing it now as i type }, pulling on my wellies, and doing whatever the fuck I like. { not bleeping that one out y'all...cause it's my BIRTHDAY. i'll do as i please! } Speaking of that...

Your yoga belongs to you and no one else. Know what that means? You have carte blanche. You possess absolute and utter freedom to doowutchyalike. And yoga how you like!

Yogahowyalike:

1. Wear what you feel good in. { We don't give an argyle sock what they think! }
2. Modification is magical. { Not ready for the big kahuna? Take the prep pose. Got the pose mastered? Get a little peacocky with it! I love a little flourish here and there. }
3. Sigh it all out. Use your breath to let go of what you're holding on to. { Sure I poke fun at the Darth Vaders of the yoga world, but if you need a big ass lion rawr or a horsey-lipped exhale, take one! }
4. If your body does something funny, laugh! { But let's not make it a habit...especially you gassy types. }
5. Faceplanting is the sign of a brave and adventurous soul. { Try something new (and quite possibly scary) and stand firm in your pioneering fierceness! }
6. If you can't remember the name for a pose, make one up. { Everyone else will think you know something they don't and it might just catch on. }

Yoga is LIFE. This is yours. As RuPaul says, "You bettah WORK!" Now get your ass out there and live your way. I'll be waiting for you. :D

{ artwork © Y is for Yogini, photo credits (with minor alterations by YIFY): marthastewart.com, projectpetinc.org, and disneymike.com }

are you a meanie yogini? { 10 ways to know fo sho }

photo credit: izzymom.com

The words may rhyme, but "meanie" NEVER goes well with "yogini." We might be a little feisty, some of us are incredibly type-A, and everybody has an off day, but there IS a line.

The Meanie Yogini { or Yogi }:

1. Kicks your mat out of the way so she can squiggle in or make room for her pallie, Yoga B*tch #2.
2. Thinks share and share alike means take 10 blankets, 5 bolsters, and 8 straps. { What are you, an octopus? Who needs that many straps?! }
3. Spends her time flaming yoga bloggers. She posts anonymously or first-name only, as she can start shit, but isn't brave enough to handle the impending shitstorm. { Woman-up, already! }
4. Keeps an eyeball on the teacher and an eyeball on you — she has to make sure her tree is more expansive than yours. { Seriously? Don't make me cut you...down! }
5. Elbows or mat-thrusts her way to the front of the class line, even though everyone else is stacked properly and politely.
6. Acts like yoga isn't for everyone, as though there's some sort of velvet rope or hierarchy.
7. Hogs up YTT class time with insanely inane talk about herself. { Opportunity cost, biznatch! Don't want to hear you wax pathetic about your life story like it's a Lifetime movie audition. }
8. Talks up ahimsa, bliss, love, and kind living in front of the crowd, while behind the scenes, she smokes, wastes resources, acts shitty to people, and abuses everyone in her vicinity. { Let's recycle her! }
9. Haaaas to make a grand entrance or is habitually and unapologetically late to class.
10. Is passive-aggressive. { Well, there's nothing passive about me. How 'bout I show you my aggression? }

How to handle these hateful harlots? Patanjali gives us a simple key: DISREGARD TOWARD THE WICKED. Without the water of your attention, these smelly little flowers wilt and wither away. Ciao.

what is yoga swagger?

 artwork source: e-swagger.com

A new hashtag has cropped up on Twitter: #yogaswagger. But those of you who've been around the block know that yoga swagger runs deep and is timeless. You can't fake the funk. Either you've got swag...or you don't.

Still confused? Just want to study up? Something to nod your head to b/c you know you a badass?! Jeeeah.

Yoga Swagger { defined }

adj. evident self-confidence and love in the realm of yoga, which is life. strut. style. the manner in which you handle yourself and your biznassss.

1. Has nothing to do with wearing your yoga pants baggy, crotch at your knees, booty crack/undies on display.
2. It's not in your clothing. Sure, some of us are clotheshorses, but clothes don't equal swagger.
3. If you've got it, it's part of everything you do. Your style. Your slant. Just being you.
4. Swagger is having the ovaries/balls to get naked { NOT for money or to sell a product! }, get into your favorite yoga pose, and have your photo taken to poke fun at something, rise to a challenge, or celebrate your body. See: Tommy Tadasana and YogaDawg.
5. It's saying, loud and clear, what you believe in. No holds barred. No bullshit. See: My yoga blog friends { the looooong list on the left. they rock. }
6. It's rocking whatever the f*ck you want to yoga class rather than jumping on the yoga mat bandwagon and wearing what everyone else does.
7. Yoga swagger is teaching someone, anyone who will listen, a new pose...even if you think you're "just a beginner." We all have something to share and teach. Spread the love.
8. It's putting good, whole foods into your body because you appreciate what a gift it is to be healthy. Because you are immeasurably thankful you can feel and enjoy the beautiful body poetry of the physical practice of yoga.
9. It's breaking ridiculous old school rules and taking yoga to the people. Everyone who is/might be interested. See: Yogi Bhajan and countless other heroes.
10. If you're preaching it, BE it, DO it. If not, you might as well stuff a toe sock in it.

How do you define yoga swagger? What's your swag? :P

need a soundtrack to get your swagger going? try this: like a g6 { i like to sing it as, "fly like a cheese stick!" } 

what is your { syb } secret yoga behavior?

photo credit: guitarsolutions.net

In honor of the new moon, I am mooning you...figuratively, of course. You know, I'm showing you some of the goods.

Remember that episode of Sex and the City { I know you watched SATC as obsessively as I did...and still do! } where Carrie and the girls all fess up to their SSB — Secret Single Behavior? Carrie likes to eat crackers with jam while looking at fashion magazines in the kitchen. Charlotte likes to stare at her pores for hours. Etc. Well, I have some yoga secrets to share.

SYB - My Secret Yoga Behaviors:

1. I secretly say "Meow!" and "Moo!" in my mind when I do Cat/Cow. I have a strong compulsion to do it aloud, but it hasn't overpowered me yet.
2. My mat has to be perfectly aligned with the lines on the wood floor. If it isn't, I can't focus.
3. In tough poses, you'd think I was playing a heated game of bball against my biggest rival. Only thing is, I'm shit-talking myself. "Suck it up, mo fo! What kind of a %*$$@ are you?!" I'm working on this.
4. I like to wear my favorite slippers when I'm in Viparita Karani { Legs-Up-the-Wall pose } at home. So snuggly!
5. Sometimes I write blog posts in my mind when I'm supposed to be practicing and paying attention in class. :P
6. I stealthily feel up my own booty in yoga class to see if it's getting tighter.
7. I fantasize about bursting out in a brilliant cussing storm during a silent moment in class, then blaming it on Tourette's.

Now come to meeee. Look into my eyes. Tell me your yoga secrets!