yoga humor, yogini style, yoga personality, yoga tips - Y is for Yogini

6 reasons taking a yoga class is #@$*%&! awesome

© y is for yogini

Yoga virgin? This list will pique your bendy intendy and push you over the edge. Old skool yogi/ni? Reminders of how good we've got it are necessary in life.

1. You get to wear your pajamas. Sweats, leggings, pj's...it's all the same: comfy cozy doing yoga posies.
2. No shoes, no shirt, and you still get service. The first applies to all, the second, to the bros (unless you're a Lady Godiva or Michelangelo's David at Naked Yoga; birthday suit = de rigueur).
3. Yoga is for EVERYBODY. I'll have none of this "Yoga for People Who Love Frogs" and "Asana for Accountants Who Don't Wear Underwear" horseshit. Let's all just downdogpile in the same class. Life's a bowl of mixed nuts and so is yoga. We party together.
4. 90 minutes of exercise, psychotherapy, soul-finding, and spirit-lifting for under $20. What. A. F*cking. Deal. { see also: 5 reasons you should be more than happy to pay for yoga }
5. Naptime, just like when you were in kindergarten, is always on the programme. Savasana. Zzzzzzzzzz.
6. Afterglow. When all is ujjayied and done, you radiate ease and warmth like a happy little glow worm.

What the trikonasana are you waiting for? Get your yoga on!

8 ways i treat yoga class like my pro basketball career

What, you thought yoginis couldn't be ballers? Sigh. Players gonna play and haters gon' hate. It's all about Prakriti.

1. Walk in, high-five the energetic mascots behind the counter. 
2. Slip off street kicks and put on *magic* shoes { feet! }. 
3. Sidestep the hos who just want me for my yoga championship rings. 
4. Warm up like a boss. No posturing, jus biznass. Okay, maybe a leetle peacocking.
5. Smugly ogle the dudes in tight shorts yoga dance team.
6. Listen to Coach and follow directions with respect and reverence.
7. And the crowd goes WILD...with chanting at the end.
8. Remember to:

• Be own biggest fan
• Live in the moment
• Play with heart

I think I hear the Globetrotters calling,

4 ways to pimp your yoga { yo, dawg! }

artwork credit: MTV { with creative modifications by YIFY }

Rusty joints? Yogic grille not so sparkly? Motor put-putting? Or perhaps just practicing the same damn thang over and over again?

Shawty, it be time ta pimp your yoga! As Xzibit says, "Yo Dawg, I heard you like yoga...so let's put some extra YO in your yoga, so you can really YOGA."

Now let's get started.

1. Spice it up. If you are a Bikram Babe, try something cooling like Yin Yoga. If you normally practice Iyengar, take a Vinyasa Flow class instead. Step out of the usual into the unusual and something magically delicious or scandalously awesome usually happens. Voila!
2. Go to a new studio. I know, I know. I can hear the internal struggle..."But there will be people I don't know there. (gasp! stranger danger!) And I don't know where to park. (oh no! undoubtedly you will drive in circles until the end of time!) And...and...and..." SILENCE! Do it. It will be good for you. Don't make me bind and gag your internally dialoguing mouth.
3. Take a walk on the wild side and practice in the front of the room. You ok? You didn't pass out after reading that, did you? If you usually practice in the back, get ballsy and try the front row for once. Contrarily-wise, if you're a front row regular, take a backseat and get a new perspective.
4. Get in touch with your bandhas and your breath. Read up, watch videos, take a workshop, do 40 days of pranayama. And you'll blow the lid off your practice.

So, dawg...what are you waiting for?! If you need me, I have my yoga toolbox at the ready.

10 yoga poses to strike for love { animal asanas to attract a mate }

photo credit: dailydumper.blogspot.com

Rawwwwrrrr. It is wild out there. Lions, lionesses. Tigers, tigresses. Bears, and bears. Bearesses? Bearginis? Love is a jungle. Are you the queen or king of yours?

It is not a coincidence that many yoga poses are named after animals. Our nature runs deep; we are all kin. A peek into the mating rituals of our animal friends and perhaps a little aping of their postures just might be the thing to draw you someone to hibernate with.

10 Yoga Poses to Strike for Love:

1. Downward Facing Dog { Adho Mukha Svanasana }

• Well, there's the obvious reason. But don't ask me to explain it. YOU know.
• Knowing if we're compatible or not might be much faster (and cheaper) if we opted for butt-sniffing, like dogs do.

2. Lion Pose { Simhasana }

• First, if your potential beloved still finds you attractive when you look insane (which this pose definitely accomplishes), you've got a winner. Look no further.
• Second, Simhasana is said to cure bad breath — THE deal breaker.
• Third, how many guys do you know who DON'T think panting is hot. Yeah, that's what I thought, ZERO.
• It is recommended that you roar at the end. No, really, read up on it. Claim your territory! Let the jungle know that you're gonna get yours. Dominate.

3. Rabbit Pose { Sasangasana }

• Maintains a flexible, youthful spine. This will help you keep up with, uh, the kind of activities rabbits are known for.
• Good for the immune system...just in case you have, well, a number of romantical rabbit friends.

4. Camel Pose { Ustrasana }

• Stretches the groins, opens the heart. Translation: good way to get your game face on, if you know what I mean.
• While embodying the pose fully is always appreciated, nobody likes a spitter. Hold the saliva, k?

5. Butterfly Pose { Baddha Konasana with flutter added / Titali Asana }

• Stimulates the sacral chakra. Translation: va va voom!
• Butterflies are pollinators. :)
• Butterflies taste with their feet. You can take that fun fact wherever you like.

6. Cat/Cow Pose { Marjaryasana / Bitilasana }

• Be honest with yourself, this pose just looks sexy. And it feels wonderfully indulgent.
• There's a reason we say "Meow!" in relation to titillating things. You've heard those late-night kitty cat hollers, mrrrrows, and yowls. Yup, kitty booty call.

7. Frog Pose { Bhekasana }

• The anatomical focus here is the uterus. Just sayin'.
• Naked leapfrog is pretty hard to say no to...if you like the Frog Prince who is asking.

8. Feathered Peacock Pose { Pincha Mayurasana }

• Peacocks know how to strut their stuff better than any other animal.
• My teacher calls this "Pinch-my-ass-ana." Yow! :)
• Helps you learn to lift your tail. Um, a skill which is certainly beneficial. Er, in life. You know?

9. Fish Pose { Matsyasana }

• Come, my love, let us swim upstream...and spawn.
• A beautiful heart-opener.

10. Cobra Pose { Bhujangasana }

• A slithery, supple, sensual pose. I don't know about you, but I feel powerful in Cobra.
• On the flipside, one must understand cobras in order to be a good snake charmer. Mwahahahahaa.
• Cobras have excellent night vision. Crucial for gliding over to your prey in the dark.

The keys to the animal love kingdom are yours. Choose wisely, go forth, and get in touch with your inner animalistic yogic self.

Meow! Rawr! Hiss! Moo! Woof!

{ photo credits: 1. howdididoit.com, 2. yogainmyschool.com, 3. fullissue.com, 4. interesting-animal-facts.blogspot.com, 5. colourlovers.com, 6. allwomenstalk.com, 7. howstuffworks.com, 8. animal.discovery.com, 9. amelangeetmoi.blogspot.com, 10. noraaoyagi.typepad.com. }

i ain't wit no marriage and a wedding ring { i'm a yoga player }

photo credit: stilablog.blogspot.com

For the uninitiated, that's a quote from a classic Too Short song. Now, we are just one little day away from the month of luuurve. February brings images of hearts, lovers' walks, technicolor sunsets, and rosy-cheeked cherubs. Huh.

I'm telling you right now, sure as sin, my intention for February:  to slut it up.

Yeah, you heard me. I'm a yoga player. Or at least, I intend to be. I'm going to spend this month stepping outside of my usual monogamist zone and into the red light district. I tend to only frequent my most favorite soul-titillating classes (who doesn't?!), so I'm thinking it's time to try new partners, just cause I'm feeling nasty. Ya dig?

The Yoga Harlot/I-Get-Around Plan:

1. 2 brand-spanking { ooh! } new classes each week. 
2. 5 new-to-me teachers for the month. { zow. lots more notches for the bed mat post! }
3. Try 2 new studios for the month. { perhaps one could be clothing optional. oh f*ck, who am i kidding? too shy for that. }
4. Optional: Amuse self { and others? } by wearing see-through leggings to 1 class.
5. Optional: Flirt shamelessly with hot yoga teacher by taking a cue from the Darth Vader breathers. Accompanied by eyelash-batting, he'll know what I'm getting at. { well...that, or he'll think I need medical attention. either way, this one's a winner. }

"I'm a player...and I'm playin' just to play." - Too Short

Yoga Hussies, holla at'cha girl. Let's do this! Only good can come of it.

{ Do you smell another series? Then you have an EXCELLENT sniffer. I'm going balls ovaries out this month + plan on having my wicked way with February's focus on love, luuurve, and gettin' it ON! Prepare yourselves. :P }